Hearthentic

Abuse, Molestation, Self-Esteem, Sexual Abuse, Uncategorized

I’m Your Private Dancer

stripperspole-dancer-2

 

We are all familiar with Tina Turner and her above titled song. Now let me ask you this, how familiar are you with the spirits that are attached to being sexually abused? Some wonder why that little girl is so promiscuous or why her style of dress changed or why she is so much into wearing makeup now. People never consider that someone may have stolen her innocence. They speak quickly without thought, saying, “She is fast or she is too hot in her pants. We never know what has taken place or make her comfortable enough to build a relationship and inquire if anything has happened to her.

It may not be easy to identify when the innocence of a child has been stolen, or is it. As stated above, the change of dress along with the change of demeanor occurs. We could attach it to them seeing things on television or being in the vicinity of adult conversations. When the innocence of a child has been taken, they are opened up to things that could destroy them. They either desire to explore their sexuality more indepth or they become a recluse. In either situation, pay attention. It also does not help if the child has no strong male figure to show her how a man is suppose to treat her.

Your young daughter, who had hardly any interest in makeup, now wants to wear makeup daily. Something in the psyche tells her that due to this tragedy taking place, it has made her a woman. Not realizing she is still a girl or young lady but had someone who is sick, take her innocence away. As she grows older, the urges to explore become broader and quite careless. Any person that gives her the desired attention, wins. It goes from flirting, to possibly taking nudes, to stripping(private dancer) to prostitution or a mixture of things.

Let me share a little of what I encountered. I began being fondled at a very early age and then molested by my aunt’s boyfriend. The older I turned, the more sexual I became. I got into modeling and laid on many casting couches believing whatever was said to me. I had no self-w0rth, low self-esteem and no self love. I was receiving attention and having sex with any and everyone. It later turned into me performing at private parties, more bachelor parties than anything. The private parties led to prostituting myself for money I did not even need.

Although, I never popped pills, snorted or shot up any type of drugs, I was still an addict. I was a sex addict. There were days I would have multiple sexual partners in a day and other days I would be with one person and have sex multiple times that day until I was sore or they were tired. It was not because I wanted to, but because I thought that was what would make the other person happy and keep liking me. Although the private parties did not last too long, I  quickly grew tired of having to drink until I was literally drunk to perform and then have sex with the soon to be groom. When you have no idea what life is really like and the spirits that dwell inside you, do what I did. I began to read. It took me well into my forties to realize that multiple spirits were dwelling in me.

The spirits of abandonment, lust, perversion, rejection, self-rejection and multiple other spirits had taken over. I compared myself to others and wondered why I was never happy with myself. When you have sexual intercourse with someone, you are biblically considered to be married to them. You have two souls that become one. Spirits may transfer one by one or they come in groups. Lust and perversion are generally always together. In order to extract these spirits, you must find the root of the spirit and cast it out. If you don’t repent and cast the spirits out, they will attract other spirits. Homosexuality, Lesbianism, pornography, perversion and many other spirits come from being molested or raped.

If you ever want to get back to your true self, READ!!!!! There are many books on spiritual warfare and deliverance. Another way to get rid of the demons that dwell in you from your experience with sexual abuse is to pray and fast. Light and darkness cannot dwell in the same place. If you want your happiness, peace, love, joy and a fulfilling life, you have to become free.

The only private dancing you should be doing is for your future husband. Remember that God loves you and so do I.

Peace and Blessings,
Always Retta
ImagineMeLLC@gmail.com

© 2016 Retta Timmons. All Rights Reserved

Abuse, Molestation, Self-Esteem, Sexual Abuse, Uncategorized

I’ve Got the Power!!

Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat. Fearlessness is being without fear, bold and brave.

Growing up in South Carolina, I was fearful of almost everything. We were chased by dead snakes, fish heads and many other things. Why did those things scare me when they were rendered powerless?

That is how you should look at fear, as powerless. Why are you afraid of failure? Attempting to build a business, work on your credit, establishing opportunities, come with the advantage of failing. Yes, I said advantage. If you never attempt to do it, you don’t know if it will work or not.

God says in the book of Timothy, “God did not give us the spirit of fear: but of power, love and a sound mind.” The best way to beat your fears is to face them head on. If you are scared to go parasailing, do it! If you think your business will fail, do it. What do you lose if it fails? You actually gain knowledge of what worked best and what did not.

You have the power to succeed or fail, because you did not try or you did try. Don’t allow anything or anyone to intimidate you. God has given you gifts and talents to complete anything you desire to do. Stop running and face your fears!

Take the time to write your fears down and what it is that makes you afraid. Write what you think can be done to overcome that fear. You have to power to succeed and conquer that fear. What are you waiting for?

Peace and Blessings,
Always Retta
ImagineMeLLC@gmail.com

© 2016 Retta Timmons. All Rights Reserved

Source: I’ve Got the Power!!

Abuse, Molestation, Self-Esteem, Sexual Abuse, Uncategorized

Hello…My Name is___________

Hello...My name is

How many times have you been called something other than your name? Have you been called worthless, fat, ugly, or possibly told you are not smart enough, not pretty enough or “JUST NOT ENOUGH?” So have I, but what I want you to know today is that you eventually become what you are called. If you accept it and answer to it, you are allowing yourself to become that instead of believing what God calls you. Never answer to the negative voices in your head or the negative persons in your life. You are better than that, but you have to believe it for yourself.

Maria Bogdanos who wrote the article, Signs of Emotional Abuse for Psych Central.com states that, “It can cripple all we are meant to be as we allow something untrue to define us.” If we continue to allow someone to speak negatively into our lives on a consistent basis, you will begin to believe what they are saying. It will begin to play in your head on repeat.

Growing up, I was called so many things, that I would just answer, due to not knowing any better or not knowing my identity. I was told by family members and acquaintances that I would be good for nothing but laying on my back and I was ugly. Those things along with others shaped me in such a way that I believed them. You see, I already did not know what love look like, so I accepted any and every negative thing spoken to me. Please don’t follow in my mistake and accept any negativity in your life.

In Ephesians 2:10 it says,”For we are his workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them .” To me, this says that God created us and we are absolutely, unequivocally, amazing and gifted! Keep saying that statement out loud over and over until you get it. We are all beautiful humans which God created. God made us in his image and he does all things well, which includes you and I. Just like pets, people teach us to be mean and hateful, that is not how we entered the world. God sees every bit of beauty and goodness in you. When others don’t see your beauty, it is because they are blind of their own beauty. God does not make mistakes and you were not a mistake. You are a true masterpiece, like the Sistine Chapel painted by Michelangelo.

You were created to be uniquely different in every way. You are the only one with your fingerprints. Your smile, your eyes, your hair, your intelligence, your character, your integrity, your height, and your weight, along with other aspects of your makeup, define how wonderful you are. Take a look in the mirror and study yourself. Really, really take a look at yourself. Study every feature and journal about your likes and dislikes about them. In journaling about your dislikes, I want you to be able to look back and see your growth and love for self. I desire for you to notice every mole, every bump, and every scar. They are all forever a part of you, so embrace them.

Last but definitely not least, if you make the decision to change something someone dislikes about you, change it, because you want to, not because of them. If they complain about any part of you, they don’t love you completely. If you have an issue with your weight, you change it. Consult a nutritionist or a personal trainer to assist you. When someone loves you, they take you just as you are and love on you.

So, the next time someone calls you ugly, reintroduce and say, “Hello, my name is beautiful!” or when someone tells you that you are not good enough, reintroduce yourself by saying, “Hello, I am enough,actually, I am more than enough!” You get the picture. My challenge to you is to see who God created you be and be that valuable, beautiful person. The next time someone calls you out of your name, reintroduce yourself to them. Hello,my name is Retta Timmons and I am a gifted, talented, beautiful, funny and amazing child of God.

Peace and Blessings,
Always Retta
ImagineMeLLC@gmail.com

© 2016 Retta Timmons. All Rights Reserved

Abuse, Molestation, Self-Esteem, Sexual Abuse, Uncategorized

Reflection

Reflection

 

As I sit back and reflect on my life, I have overcome a lot. I have come to the realization that God truly has a plan for my life.

At one point in my life, I believed that I was not worthy of love, did not hold any value, was very ugly and I was not intelligent. In my forty-five years of life, I still struggle sometimes with certain things. I may take a look back and ask myself, “Are you really pretty?” or are you really loved by anyone?” I threw pity parties quite often, as I held on to the victim role and used it to my ability. Quite often I had to take a look at myself in the mirror or just shake the craziness off. When we have conditioned ourself through negative self talk and always feeling sorry for ourselves, we have to change our mindset. It is truly a battlefield of the mind.

In dealing with the spirits of rejection, abandonment, lust, fear, death, hurt, shame,  loneliness, perversion, rebellion, sadness, depression, confusion, bitterness, witchcraft, poverty, lying, deceit, addiction, pride, abuse, double-mindedness, and doubt; there was a lot I needed to be delivered from. When you go through various situations there is the possibility of these spirits attaching themselves to you. Over the years, I have been delivered from most of them, but deal with one or two of them. You must understand that when things happen to you, whether it be rape, molestation, physical abuse, emotional abuse, being raised in a single parent home or other circumstances, you are subject to spirits attaching themselves to you. It has been a long journey for me, but to God be the glory, I am still here. Anyone of those spirits could have taken me out of here.

What I have gained from my reflection is that I am enough. Through my trials and tribulations, I am still standing, I am still alive, when I know I should have been dead. I know that I have a bright future ahead of me. I also am aware of how intelligent I am and that I have plenty of gifts and talents. I can sing, model, a thespian at heart, pray, teach and so much more. I returned to school after a 14 year hiatus and earned a 3.4 GPA. Do I still struggle, yes I do, but with the help of God, who is my strength, I am still moving forward. I don’t have to sleep with someone else’s husband nor do I have to be jealous of another sister.  God made me to be more than enough.  God will provide all of my needs according to his riches in glory. I know that God has an amazing man, who he is preparing for me. I know there are businesses coming to me, I know there is financial freedom coming to me, I know there is complete deliverance and healing coming to me, I know there is revival coming to me. I am enough to complete every assignment God has tasked me with, because He created me.

The next time you doubt yourself, or facing a trial or tribulation, now that you are enough to come out on top and the fire only makes you stronger.

Peace and Blessings,
Always Retta
ImagineMeLLC@gmail.com

© 2016 Retta Timmons. All Rights Reserved

 

 

Abuse, Molestation, Self-Esteem, Sexual Abuse, Uncategorized

The Important Role of a Father

A biological father plays an important role in our lives.

Fathers shape and mold us into young women without even knowing it. When they provide the love, respect, comfort, support and encouragement we need, we believe that we can accomplish anything. When a father provides the nourishment and developmental support we need, the probability of healthy relationships are greater. As adults, we make better decisions when it comes to dating and life in general. We do not allow people to walk over us nor mistreat us. Our fathers are the first male to provide us with security and protection, love and how we should be treated. Father’s are to be the first date, first love and role model to their daughter. Growing up without those things causes low self-esteem, an unworthiness of love, unhealthy relationships and many hard lessons in false love.

I grew up with my biological father being in and out of prison, so he was not there physically or emotionally a lot of the time. Did I need him, yes. Did he know that, no. His father passed away when he was two which left him without a role model or teacher. I was already damaged due to the sexual abuse I survived. He did not know how to love or care for me. He did not teach me how a man should treat me per say, but I would watch him go to work, get paid and bring the check home for my mom to pay the bills. We never enjoyed a father daughter dance or anything of that nature. The only thing my father expected of me was to graduate high school. Am I saying my father is the worst, absolutely not, but what I am saying is that he did the best he knew how. It took me quite some time to come to grips with that. I wanted to be loved and cared for by my father, but he was not capable, which did more damage to my spirit.

Fathers, whether they come in the shape of an uncle, grandfather, Godfather, or just a strong male figure, he is very much needed. The love, affection and quality time a father bestows upon his female seed is priceless. These things shape and mold daughters into something extra special. Am I saying a single mother can’t do the same, no, but a father’s love truly makes a difference. I know for a fact that if my dad was truly embedded in my life the way a father should be I don’t think my life would have turned out the same. I still do not receive the emotional attachment I longed for, but he tells me he loves me and he shows it when something happens. I just have to understand how he loves and move forward. I have since been able to forgive my father and encourage a better relationship with him. It is always a work in progress. So, to those who grew up without a father, it is time to release the anger and bitterness which has your heart hardened and give it to God. Allow him to heal you from the inside out, as he is the greatest father any of us could ever have.

Peace and Blessings,
Always Retta
ImagineMeLLC@gmail.com

© 2016 Retta Timmons. All Rights Reserved.

Abuse, Molestation, Self-Esteem, Sexual Abuse, Uncategorized

First blog post

This page was birthed out of years of pain, torment, shame and guilt to assist in the healing of anyone that may have been abused, sexually, emotionally or physically. It was created to inform those that have been sexually abused that it was not there fault. When you realize that you were created to be more than someone’s punching bag, property or prostitute, you are ready to live the fulfilling life you were created to be.

Living with guilt, shame, rejection, abandonment, depression, and low self-esteem were not who you were made to be. Those are things you may be suffering or have suffered through which makes you stronger. They were strongholds that came against you to keep you from achieving your greatness. Don’t give up because of them!

Allow us to help you achieve the life you desire by inspiring and encouraging you to become the wonderfully, fearfully, and beautiful person you were created to be.

Peace and Blessings,
Always Retta
ImagineMeLLC@gmail.com

© 2016 Retta Timmons. All Rights Reserved